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Captain Awesome
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Ask me if I care
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Byte me
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My cat says hi
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Did i stutter?
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Six out of five people suck at fractions
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Alcohol you later
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Titties And Beer - That's Why I'm Here
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I'm not as dumb as you look
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I hate everyone
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Computer says no
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Ew. People
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Not my job
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May contain alcohol
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bruh
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Success trains failure complains
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29.4 percent of all statistics are made up
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Me? Sarcastic? Never.
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Are they still bad habits if I like them
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Be So Good They Cant Ignore You
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Insecurity
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I hate you smile
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I less than three you
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Not to brag, but I've always washed my hands
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World's Greatest Boss
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Trophy wife
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Naturally Sweet - No Sugar Added
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I'm not drunk - I'm awesome
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Beer makes me awesome
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Do epic shit
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Perfect
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Your workout is my warm-up
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Under construction
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Strong! When you run out of weak
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Fuck around and find out
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Your workout is my warm-up
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You don't have time to work out - You Make time
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Drink Up Bitches
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nice_tags
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Sometimes alcohol is the answer
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I make stuff up
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Eat Clean Train Dirty No Excuses
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Let me know if my biceps get in your way
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Shut up and squat - No excuses
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Cardio sucks
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Harder Better Faster Stronger
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Train insane or remain the same
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Eat Train Sleep Repeat
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#Awesome
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AFK - Away From Keyboard
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Wash your hands
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Gold digger
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Error 417 expectation failed
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I see small people
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Hello wine
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I pwn noobs
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I love boobies
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No Pain No Gain
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DYEL
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I used to be fucking stupid
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Smoking guns
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Act like a lady train like a boss
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I have issues
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2 Fat 2 Run 4 Fun
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Trophy wife
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Chicks dig pale skinny guys that write code
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I'm not drunk, I'm awesome
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I'm here to fuck shit up!
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I'm here for beer
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I don't get drunk - I get awesome
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Drink up bitches
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Eat train sleep repeat
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Sarcasm is just one of my many qualities
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Shit happens when you party naked
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This side up
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My vocabulary is as good as like
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Image not found
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When in doubt mumble
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May contain nuts
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Where my ho ho ho's at?
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I love squats
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I'm awesome but I even things out
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I'm really pissed at my anger management group
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It s called exercise - You should try it sometime
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Trust me
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Wife - washing, ironing, fucking, etc
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Awesome
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asdf
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Train hard or go home
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Train like a boss
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Shut up and train
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Lift like a boss
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Little miss fucking sunshine
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meh
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Failure is always an option
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You look different - Not better, just different
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Ask me how i tolerate stupid questions
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1337
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Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms - Good Times!
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Geek
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Limited edition
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Limited edition
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Shut up and squat
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Fuck you you fucking fuck
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Fuckin' Cool
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Fuckin' Awesome
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Fuck you smiley
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Fuck y*u
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Total number of fucks given
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Abcdefuck
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I fuck on the first date
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I'm here to fuck shit up
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Epic fail
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I don't give a fuck
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Real friends show me their boobs
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Just two girls short of a threesome
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Got beer
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Boobies are super cool
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Dude seriously
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That just happened - Deal with it
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Aka Awesome
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I'm just here for beer
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Does my body make you look fat
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Idiot
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Buy me a beer, I'm awesome
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That's what she said
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Santa claus
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Sit on my lap and call me santa
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Santa doesn't believe in you either!
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I'm not santa, but you can sit on my lap anytime
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Thank you. I'll be here all week
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I'm here for titties and beer
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Beer with me
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It is what it is
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Pole dancing
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