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World's Greatest Grandpa
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World's Okayest Dad
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Trophy husband
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I'm not just a pretty face and a perfect body
Captain Awesome
Ladies please one at a time
I may be wrong - But I doubt it
I don't hold grudges I remember facts
It's never too late to give up
Wish you were beer
Don't bite the hand that fingers you
I'm not old im a classic
You've cat to be kitten me right meow
No probllama
Why be part of the problem
This is what awesome looks like
Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional
I don't make mistakes - I date them
Vegetarian is an old indian word for bad hunter
Sheep mooing
You can either agree with me or not disagree
I'm not trying to be difficult, It's called talent
Who needs hair with a body like this
Pretty sure I seized the wrong day
I see no good reason to act my age
I'm not like other kids, I'm in my 40s
Free shrugs
Have you tried turning it off and back on again
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Bear with me
Alcohol you later
Don't blame yourself - Let me do it
Why be difficult
